diana moore is
a writer, poet and model
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31/08/2010
Bruises are appearing on my legs where I leaped over a stile, OK I misjudged the leap...hurrying... it was getting dark... unfamiliar territory... glad no one was nearby with a video to capture my spectacular tumble (and add me to You Tube...).
30/07/2010
A recent visitor to my web pages came up with the following summary in poetic form - thanks to Peter French (Hmm! should I be advertising the talents of another poet... I guess there is room for more...).
Though I'd offer them sketches galore,
And I'd model a dress by Dior;
Though I've poems and plays
With a neat turn of phrase,
I've a feeling they still might want Moore...
31/03/2010
News report suggests toads can predict earthquakes. Wonder if the toads could let the council know where the next potholes will be coming up - and give them a nudge (croak) to hurry up and fix them, my car is suffering....
26/02/2010
...at a medicine taster session... "There are too many medical dramas on TV, what we need is a drama about engineering...."
23/02/2010
Went along to the Oxfringe launch last night, didn't realise my handbag was going to misbehave...naughty thing turned on the pint on the table next to me belonging to... Whispering Bob Harris (BBC Radio 2). Liquid in a pint glass looks far less in volume than when it has spread itself across table, soaked into clothing, squelched into leather jacket pockets, and meandered like a river along the floor... happily he saw the funny side (cautiously opting for a half pint when I offered a replacement drink!).
Enjoyed a champagne tea for two at Blenheim Palace (I won this in Daily Info's pro-Valentine's Day poetry competition; embarrassed to say the poem wasn't my best effort but it suited the remit) Three tiers of goodies were delivered to the table, including neatly cut sandwiches and an array of delicious cakes. Visited the Churchill Exhibition, enjoyed the Hallmark exhibition of old cards and Sir Winston's own paintings that were printed onto greetings cards. Too much to see in one visit but will make time to return. Entrance tickets are currently being converted to annual passes for anyone interested in exploring this fabulous building.
Playbites, Oxford Playhouse. My script: 'Good, Good, Good Incantations' was read and performed by two young actresses who did a great job of bringing the words to life. (good direction by Laura Caddick too). Thanks to all involved. Shame the Playbites run has finished.
11/11/2009
10/11/2009
11/10/2009
An art photographer, 100 UK models, their lives, a hard-backed book and a time vault.
01/10/2009
This rhyme was written for the producer of a local radio programme; who knows, it might become a modern day nursery song in the school playgrounds....
Three fine lice, three fine lice
See how they run, see how they run
They all ran over to Harry's head
Nestled down in his hair like a bedspread
Then fled in dread at the silicone spread
Those three fine lice
28/09/2009
'Every time I screw up with my children I put a dollar in the jar on the shelf to pay for their therapy' What a great quote, contributed by Colin Firth in Psychologies Collections. Or in Twitter terms retweet RT@PsychologiesCollectionsWisdom@Colin Firth@someoneoncesaid@Diana-Moore.com or something like that.
23/09/2009
I had my screen debut last night - all three seconds as a college secretary in MSM (nine hours, four scenes, numerous takes, several cups of tea and biccies, a little more waiting time, and a good hot lunch included) . Also had airtime on Richard & Judy's Star Bar earlier in the year. Contract should be coming through the post soon for a star role... I wonder how many 'extras'... get acting roles from starting out as an extra... I can think of one at the moment... Bill Tarmey aka Jack Duckworth
14/09/2009
My daughter came home from school and handed me a booklet on the subject - she gave me an old-fashioned look (can teens do that?) with her thumb fixed in the page marked 'parenting programmes'. .... "Is there an 'Understanding Parents' book coming out soon?" I asked cheerfully... she wasn't amused...
Teenage Tips ~ for fraught mummies and daddies: If (I mean when) your teen is behaving stroppily, try mirroring their reactions and see the result you get. It generally stops them in their tracks - giving you a few seconds breather. If you have any top tips for harrassed parents of teens that you'd like to submit please let me know and I'll post them here.
07/08/2009
Fit Fruit, Exotic Dance, No Time For A Last Waltz
A kumquat and a mango
Were dancing to the tango
Then cook composed a ballad
That ended with fruit salad
06/08/2009
http://www.dailyinfo.co.uk/reviews/feature/4009/Nearly_A_Silver_Wedding/
Here's a link with a photo of the cast and crew.
04/08/2009
Chirrup, tweet, caw, coo, warble, hoot... I've joined twitter... now what's all this about...? I might need a translator... it's all coming through too fast... think I'll go and read a newspaper
28/07/2009
I started writing lines about topical news items in Ken Bruce's fun competition call Headline Hunt on BBC Radio 2. I sent my first email in between painting the hallway and stairs – not the steps, the walls. I won a prize for my submission on a news item about Oprah Winfrey running for the presidency of the United States. It was National Poetry Day so I wrote in verse; a limerick. That was a few years ago - I wonder how it would be received now with the current heavily politically correct climate.... I won't paste it here - yet - unless there is a huge demand... I think Bill Clinton probably has a sense of humour so if he asks to see it I'll let him - I mean, the limerick.
Ken even sang one of my poetic ideas on the subject of the Millennium Dome…
“There’s no business like Dome business… “ I’ll dig out the full lyric soon.
I have particularly fond memories of writing lines for Alison Booker’s ‘Six Of The Best’. (Radio Oxford). Clever manipulation of a favourite song title would mean an added chance of getting it played on the day. With her appreciation of humour including double entendre, I feel there lies a kindred spirit. With her warm, friendly nature she found time to reply personally along the way. She later switched to the evening ‘drive time’ slot and my multi-tasking skills were called into question as I ended up with an occasional burnt offering when the keyboard took precedence over din dins.
Along came Warren Lee with a newly named ‘News Jukebox’. When he asked for song titles relating to the stricken container ship on Branscombe Beach that was being looted, well, it had to be…
‘I Feel A Plunder In My Heart’ along with that lovely Disney song: ‘Booty And The Beach’
27/07/2009
My first radio competition win was with the Surrey based County Sound Radio – I won a meal with the ‘Lunch Bunch’ by writing a few lines on why I deserved lunch out (I composed a lyric). So off we went to a smart restaurant. However, I didn’t realize it was a set menu… the starters were moules marinieres… one of a few dishes I have absolutely no desire to sample. My early experience of these molluscs was finding them washed up on the shore and searching the seaweed to find an unopened mussel. My reaction to the contents when I first managed to prise one open was… urgh! The search also included a hunt for the prettiest looking shell - without barnacles attached. Well, at least the main course was appetising.
26/07/2009
After a few early unscripted puppet shows for my peers at primary school, I entertained my teenage class mates with my story of Boris The Spider, a lively, adventurous little arachnid who came to an untimely end when he ventured too close to an electrical socket. Or did he? Well, that bit would have to be written out for young ears nowadays. It wasn't picked up by an agent or teacher as a great idea for a children's cartoon, however, years later, I was watching TV with my then younger children and there was this great little cartoon called... Spider, about... you've guessed it.
24/07/2009
A news item on rats playing musical instruments... ? Malcolm Boyden asks listeners to respond with ideas for music for rats...
Someone suggested 'Peggy Sewer' which I thought was good. My own ideas include the new CD 'Now Rats What I Call Music' and Love Don't Live Here Any GNAW... along with a classical piece by.. RAT-maninoff
Ideas for music for Bakers? One of my favourite songs of the 70's... Bachman Apple-Turnover Overdrive
10/07/2009
Written for a cool Doula
Here's an excerpt from a rap that I wrote for a lady who has helped many women through labour and more
When your body is in trauma
And you don't want chicken korma
You're walking with a waddle
Below you is a puddle
It all started with a cuddle
Now your mind is in a muddle
Breathe in breathe out
Say aaaaaaaaah!
You’re feeling fit to bursting
You have a swollen girth
And you’re heading for a birthing
Go call your mother earth in
Cos…
Kay will keep you calmer
It’s her purpose it’s her dharma
With a hint of Dalai Lama
She’s the coolest of the doulas
More valued than the jewellers
In Bond Street
Yeah!
When you start the birthing process
And you want minimal stress
Say yes
If you think an epidural
Is not the way to cure all
And....
(if you'd like to see the full poem please contact me)
25/05/2009
Colin Dolley adjudicated at the Didcot Drama Festival. What a great guy; his detailed commentary on 'Nearly A Silver Wedding' was really helpful and constructive. Added bonus was he liked my writing. The cast of Abingdon Old Gaol Theatre Company were nominated for Best Actress (Chris Price) and Best Supporting Actor (Nick Hearn) and I received a nomination from Colin Dolley for my writing, which, without wanting to sound like I'm blowing my trumpet... OK Taraaaaaa! Toot! Toot! Honk! I'll add his soundbites to my comedy menu bar soon... otherwise it'll sound like a trumpet major here, but I have waited a long time to get the play produced and it feels good to gain recognition from a highly respected adjudicator. Jo Thoenes on BBC Radio Oxford was interested in how I met the director, Paul Barrand - on the set of Midsomer Murders! Serendipity. A chance meeting and now, at last, the play is being performed 500 years after King Henry VIII's accession to the throne. The play is an alternative take on history. If you haven't yet seen it, come along to Abingdon Unicorn Theatre on 3rd June or Wallingford Corn Exchange on 11th June.
23/05/2009
The supermarket (beginning with W) weren't 'able to oblige' but the handsome father of two small girls (wearing DC T shirt) offered to carry the beers to the car for me, and it wasn't a short walk either. I do love these chivalrous guys. Thank you, Paul from Thame
04/05/2009
It's been a considerable while since I wrote the first draft for this play. It started out with 17 characters and now has... just 6. You'll find a brief synopsis under 'comedy writer'. I'm delighted that Paul Barrand (whom I met on the set of Midsomer Murders) has agreed to direct it. The cast are: Chris Price, Simon Coates, Debbie Kastner, David Spencer, Rachel Ross-Trevor, Nick Hearn from: Old Gaol Theatre Company, Abingdon.
21st May ~ at Didcot Cornerstone Arts Centre
3rd June ~ at Abingdon Unicorn Theatre
Corn Exchange Wallingford ~ 11th June
21/04/2009
We recently had a problem with jackdaws attempting to nest in our chimney pot.
Jackdaw
Excerpt of a poem for children
Good morning Jack
With the noisy chak
Chak chak chaking
In the chimney stacking
Arriving in
Diving in
I'm not alive in
The morning at five
As you are?
And Jack,
You know it's not the best idea
To nest here?
You could choke
On fireside smoke
Caw! Caw! Do I have to go?
You know you do?
Jack chak
Jack chak
Jack chak
Flap flap flap
Your wings and go...
Along came the sweep
With his brush on a stick
He scraped out the debris
Of soot - it was thick
Out with the twigs
Out with the straw
Out with the ....
If you'd like to see the full poem please contact me
Note: No jackdaws or their babies were harmed in the removal process
Photo courtesy of Andrew Dawes, Quicksilverbirds
20/04/2009
I've heard a bird whistling the first few bars of 'Mandy', by Barry Manilow! I wonder if anyone out there has heard other birds chirrupping a well-known song...?
07/04/2009
I feel a daffodil poem in the air.....
24/03/2009
I haven't been to a cabaret for a long time. The Vaults Cafe was the venue for an enjoyable evening's entertainment: from Turkish belly dancing to singers/songwriters, jazz (mmm! nice! shoo ba dee doo), performance poetry, shadow puppetry (Darth Vader goes speed dating) and comedy sketches. An added bonus was Tim Goldman and Steve Hay performing my Shoe Shop sketch. As a writer, it's interesting to see different interpretations of a script - Steve played the part of a woman, which added to the humour. The audience enjoyed it, as they did the whole evening. There were, perhaps, too many acts packed into one long evening. I'm glad I arrived early enough to bag a seat - they were in short supply for the large turnout.
I must give 'Pete the Temp' a mention: For those who missed 'The Great Sperm Race' on TV last night, Pete offers his own lively rendition of how he arrived here on earth in a blow by blow account of his journey to the centre of the womb.
Among the mostly-younger-than-me audience, were the proud parents of one of the dancers, who were clearly enjoying their daughter's varied dance routines, and taking numerous snapshots. Ah! sweet!
And finally, a mention goes to the band: as well as some great clarinet playing by the multi-talented Tim, the band's guitarist halted in his tracks and exclaimed: "hair on my plectrum" That's a new one to me. I was half expecting someone to call out "rabbit in my cider" in response...
17/03/2009
What a lovely doodle Evan O'Sullivan Glynn has done for St Patrick's Day. To be sure, to be sure, to be sure. I hope Gooooogle will doooooo a poetry competition for older folk - then I can have a go....
10/03/2009
PELICAN TO MAN ON BENCH:
Would you lend me some money for a fish and chip supper?
(photo: A Pelican & Ron Hedges)
11/02/2009
Is this the way to amyrillis
I've been growing a tall plant like this
Dreaming dreams of amyrillis
Reaching the ceiling - nearly
15/01/2009
Mollydoggle: To care for a lovable dog , or to pamper a friendly dog.
-Origin 21st century. Dedicated to a very likeable dog called Molly. Kate and I exercised both Molly and ourselves by walking down to the playing field for a game of ball.
13/01/2009
What would Greg Wallace say to bird cake..? "Are you avian a laugh...?" No, he'd love it, (if he was a bird) Tempted Greg? It does look colourful. Join the queue of blackbirds, wagtails, finches, robins - they've all been taste testing my bird cake: melted lard, bread, currants and wild bird seed mixed together, then pressed in a dish to set. Fenella Finch says "It's seasoned with a splendid variety of seeds" Jack Daw says: "Yeah! Good bread to fat ratio". Cooking does get a lot tougher than this, so make your garden a top restaurant for our feathered friends this winter.
14/12/2008
Do I still have money in the bank - or has a naughty fraudster nicked it...?
14/11/2008
Preparing my list, just in case...
- 'The Look of Love' Burt Bacharach/Ronald Isley
- 'Danse Macabre' Camille Saints-Saens
- 'Almost Like A Song' Johnny Mathis
- 'Adagio for Strings' Samuel Barber
- 'It's Not Unusual' Tom Jones
- 'That's The Way Of The World' Earth, Wind & fire
- 'Don't Leave Me This Way' The Communards
- 'Mr Blue Sky' Electric Light Orchestra
Next week, the list could be different.
11/11/2008
Roll out the red carpet - but not for Daniel Craig
He might be good for quantum leaps or doing a stunt
Let the red, red carpet of poppies made by Haig
Acknowledge all the men who fought the line at the front
Roll out the red carpet - but not for supermodels
That media, paparazzi and the PR mollycoddles
Let the red carpet represent our worthy forces
Who gave us freedom, setting history on its different courses
Roll out the red carpet - not for 'X Factor wishfuls'
Who cry when they lose out, yet life is still theirs to sing
Let the red carpet be a memory of the wistful
Wasted, wearied bodies, resting under angels wings
Roll out the red carpet, the Cenotaph is paved
Wreathed in poppies carpeting our path, our lives saved.
05/11/2008
There once was a man known as Guido
Who committed a very bad deedo
But his plan didn't bang
Fallen guy had to hang
Cos he couldn't quit with enough speedo
My winning entry in a local fireworks poetry competition
31/10/2008
We were very thin on ghouls this year, so I ended up eating a large quantity of Cadbury's Roses. Now I know how the little darlings feel by the end of the evening.
28/10/2008
Chivalry isn't dead - I'm pleased to say; especially when a handsome young male offers his seat to me on the Bakerloo line when he could so easily have plonked hmself down without batting an eyelid. Bring it on and on.
27/10/2008
A Silver Groat (fourpence) of a young Henry VIII circa 1526-1530 found by my metal detecting, comedy writing friend Jim, from Staffordshire. A fine specimen - and nicer in the pocket than the 'nose picking ear cleaning' gadget shown on Antiques Road Show.
18/10/2008
The Salvation Army were collecting donations from passers by on Saturday. I'd help with a collection but the bonnet just isn't me. We did help out last Christmas day, packing up food parcels and serving meals. Lunch was good. The chef had a great voice when it came to carol singing and Captain Mark Wolstenholme must be the most cheerful man I've ever met. Only another 66 days to go...
16/10/2008
Thanks to Mark, Pete, John, Jan and the boys in Green Watch for allowing me access to their premises.
16/10/2008
And I like a big red lorry with a logo on
Float on, float on
12/10/2008
Collecting the washing off the line, I spy a black ladybird with red spots on - a variation on the usual red bodied black spotted bug. I Google 'ladybird' and find the old nursery rhyme variations dating back to 1744. The top hit asks the question: Is it dangerous? And the top answer... Only to aphids!
14th Oct
Today David has alerted me to the fact that the bug I spotted is a Harlequin ladybird - which is a threat to other ladybird species. Here is a link to The Harlequin Ladybird Survey - get spotting...!
06/10/2008
It's good to see the Red Arrows on the front page of The Telegraph today (fly-past for the Great North Run). Earlier this year I saw an email petition circulating; anxiety was spreading that the Red Arrows might be banned from the 2012 Olympics for being 'too British'. What Ho! No! The email fly-past culminated in a smoking half a million signatures being sent to the Prime Minister. Happily the fears were unfounded. But who started the scare in the first place?
05/10/2008
My mother has a gallery of pictures by AR Quentin, the artist who cycled around Britain painting villages and landscapes, many of which were printed onto postcards, along with a fossilized rock from Chesil beach. This is just some of her miscellanea.
We have a jacquard woven picture of tortoiseshell butterflies, vases, a mother goose loo brush holder and the usual necessities.
My ex-boss has the personalised birthday poem that I wrote him; here's an extract:
When Graham took up whistling
The world of nature gazed
A songbird taped her beak up
A skylark's eyes were glazed
A nightingale fainted
A crow fell off the line
A robin started banging
His head and drinking wine
Guess which bird features in line one of the next verse... a small prize to the first respondent (excluding my ex-boss!) closes 31st October 2008
23/09/2008
'Crossing country roads is a nightmare', cried pheasant
' My timing could be wrong and the outcome... unpleasant.'
21/09/2008
Who remembers Bunty, the comic for girls? I saw in the features page some imaginary book titles, titles such as The Highwayman by Ann D Tover, so I submitted my own 'Batty Book Titles', and that's when I won my first prize, a watch, at 9 years.
So with a win under my belt, I started devising ideas for 'It's a Knockout' games, including drawings, there was always a lot of water involved, so I thought... use water... well, several letters later I received a nice letter from the producer, Barney Colehan, saying thanks, but no thanks. Well you can't win them all.
More on starting out in writing another day.
16/09/2008
I used to have a brilliant piano teacher, apparently he had a drink problem, but I wasn't aware of it, at least not during my weekly lessons. I was 21 when I had my first lesson. I'd always wanted to learn piano, but as a child, living 'in the sticks' I wasn't able to afford the luxury of piano lessons. Except, I did attend Sunday school (walking distance) and I was always keen to assist the local landowner's housekeeper-cum-nanny in playing the hymns. I was three, and I remember rushing up to her as she struck the first chords of "we plough the fields and scatter", but she didn't like me scattering my little fingers across the ivories, so there I was, banned from Sunday School . I remember she took me home and said to my mother (in her very middle class rounded vowels), "I think we should wait until Diana is a little older before she returns to Sunday School" My musical ability quashed so early in life... but my friend Christine (who lived on a farm) had a piano, so we would get together dueting, except, I really needed proper lessons... more about my brilliant piano teacher another time...
12/09/2008
I started modelling later in life (a) for the challenge and (b) to prove a point, i.e. that it can be done even if you don't have the perfect features of Kate Moss or the ample bosom of Jordan (aka Katie Price) - but wait, she's reducing hers isn't she... hmm! I might even be bigger than her soon....! OK joke over. More on modelling later.
04/09/2008
This is me with my father-in-law Sid, a lovely man, who was awarded the MBE for services to the community back in 1999. Here he is helping at a summer fete in 2005.
04/09/2008
Meet Blossom, our rabbbit. He's 4 years old and was born in Buckinghamshire, so does that make him a buck rabbit? The vet thought not... on rabbit's first visit we were told 'he' was a 'she'. A second visit to a different vet (who had an eye for the dangly bits) revealed the er, dangly bits. We thought about changing his name but decided to stick with Blossom. He doesn't seem to mind - he's well fed and has freedom to run in the garden.
04/09/2008
Photo by Rachel Moore